Today I did quite possibly the gayest thing I have ever done in my life.
It's borderline embarrassing but I don't have much shame so I thought I would share my experience in case anyone else is in a similar position to me :-)
You see, unfortunately, I'm not blessed with the smoothest of bodies. To be more specific, I have a bit of a hairy butt! I guess I should be grateful in that it pretty much stops there and doesn't extend up my back or anything but it's still not the best thing to have especially if you're a gay guy who considers himself to be a bottom. It's definitely something that has made me self-conscious about my body in the past and has possibly even contributed to the fact that I haven't yet progressed to getting out there and having sex. I mean I'm not really attracted to hairy guys (especially if they're hairy down there) so how can I expect guys I like to like me back? (Unless they have some sort of hair fetish of course but my pool of possible guys to hook up with is already pretty narrow so I don't think I'm in a position to put any more parameters on it!)
I've considered the whole waxing option on many different occasions in the past but have just never had the courage to do it. However, I knew that if I was going to move things forward it was going to be something that I had to do even if it was just for my own self-esteem. And so I started to do some research on the Internet and soon found out about a technique called "sugaring", which according to everything I read was more effective and less painful than normal waxing. Sounds good to me. And fortunately there's a place in London that not only specialises in it but is also exclusively for men. It's even run entirely by men! This is definitely a man-to-man sort of problem so that immediately sounded appealing to me and before I knew it I was booked in for a "butt and crack treatment".
I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous before my appointment. The whole time I was on the tube I was thinking 'what the hell are you getting yourself into?!' But like with my sauna experience in Bangkok last year it was one of those things that I was adamant to do so there was nothing that was going to stop me. I immediately felt more relaxed though once in the reception because you soon realise that guys go in there every day to do this so it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
It wasn't long before I was met by my therapist, a really friendly guy who interestingly didn't seem gay at all. I kind of automatically presumed that all the guys working there would be gay and maybe he was but if that was the case then he was definitely of the masculine variety! That kind of made the whole situation a bit awkward though because I could tell by the things he was saying to me that he wasn't 100% sure if I was gay myself. I kind of thought I would just leave that option open because if he was straight he probably would prefer to think I was too. How you can be straight and do that sort of job though I do not know!
If you are going to get waxed (or "sugared" I should say), you have to leave any dignity that you have at the door because the procedure is rather mortifying. He first left me in the room alone to strip entirely naked and lie flat on my stomach on the treatment bed. The door was to the back of me so when he came in the first thing he would have seen was my hairy butt! He immediately started to put me at ease though by chatting away about random stuff before applying the hot "sugar" to the relevant areas. By this stage I was bracing myself for some intense pain but I'm very happy to say that I was pleasantly surprised. In fact I wouldn't even say the waxing part is that sore - there's a slight sting for a brief moment but that's about it. I think the worst part was actually the wax being put on because it's quite hot but even then it's not that bad.
The reason sugaring is supposed to be less painful than waxing is because normal wax tends to pull your skin along with the hair while sugaring doesn't stick as much and so only takes the hair and its root.
So at first I was on my stomach but then he asked me to turn onto my right side and lift my left knee up to my chest so that my ass was more exposed. This was really embarrassing because I could no longer hide my face in the little hole of the table but instead had to look at him while he did his thing! He then repeated this with me lying on my left hand side and my right knee up to my chest. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse though they did. After he had done the sides it was time for the crack and for this to be done I had to get up on my hands and knees with my head resting down on the table and my ass in the air! You would think this would be a pretty erotic moment but I can assure you it was probably the least arousing situation I have ever been in! Still at least the waxing part didn't hurt. And for the crack he doesn't use the normal waxing strips but rather his finger wrapped in some of the sugar mold, an interesting experience in itself. All you can do is laugh and think how strange life can be when you're on all fours with your ass in the air and your therapist says to you 'could you just pull your balls a bit closer to you and hold them so that I can get into your crack a bit more?'
Fortunately it was all over in about 20 minutes. And although it was a bit red I could see I was left with the smoothest and most attractive bottom I have seen in a long time (even if I do say so myself!) And after a quick shower and paying my bill (while trying my hardest to look my therapist in the eye) I was back on the streets of London and onto the crowded tube, as if nothing had even happened.
So overall it was a really successful experience and I'm happy I did it. Not only do I have a baby smooth bottom but I was also pleased I had the balls to go and do something like that. I only have to go back in about 6 weeks time, which I definitely think I will (as long as I don't get any nasty rashes or in-grown hairs in the interim of course!)
I would definitely recommend it to anyone who's thinking of having it done themselves.
The only thing I was unsure about was whether I should have tipped the guy?! It's like when you go have a haircut. Some people always tip but I don't think it's a rule and I tend not to as it's generally so expensive in the first place. But what's the rule with male waxing? If the poor guy was straight then I think I probably should have tipped him just to compensate him for having to go into my crack!